I WAS SPEECHLESS and I STILL AM.  BUT…..

By: h. nazan ışık—

10 December 2023—

What is grief? According to Oxford Dictionaries grief is a very sad feeling, especially when somebody dies. It is something that makes you feel  very sad.

In 2020 my one and only sibling, my only brother died.

My brother’s birthday is 24 December, and he died on 26 December 2020.

 I was very sad. I wrote about my feelings every day, religiously. But writing wasn’t enough. 

 In 2021 I decided to write about my feelings with pictures.

There is a saying: Time is the best medicine.

Maybe it is but, Holidays and Birthdays always remind us of our loved ones more.

And 2023 I decided to listen, to understand my feelings deeply  and picturize them again.

Here are some images of how I felt in 2020 and 2021.

My brother’s Birthday is coming soon. 26 December!

I don’t cry anymore. 

One day I saw the shadow of a tree on a white wall.

.

It was beautiful.

I remember in 2021, one day I had seen three birds, like a family, were flying together freely, happily, in that cloudless, open blue sky.

Made me imagine that they were my loved ones.; My father, my mother and my brother!

From my window I saw a tree with beautiful white flowers.

They were all reminders that I should open my heart.

It changed me.

 I used to see this picture as if they were saying Goodbye to me.

Now I see it as they are with me, we are all smiling.

And now I try to remember the good, happy, old days!

I feel like how we change, how we feel makes this project an ongoing one.

We’ll see what 2024 will bring !!!

Photos: © h. nazan ışık